


A duck walks into a corner shop

by tea_for_lupin



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Humour, Johnlockary - Freeform, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:05:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2415995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tea_for_lupin/pseuds/tea_for_lupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John does his best to tell a joke without getting interrupted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A duck walks into a corner shop

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Sadly, I can take no credit for the joke recounted in this story, as I did not invent it, but it cracks me up every time, so I hope you enjoy it too.

'A patient told me a joke today,' John says, dropping down into his chair at 221B.

' _Booooring_ ,' scoffs Sherlock, from where he has draped himself artistically over the couch, blue dressing gown trailing behind him like the tail of a sulking peacock.

'Shut up,' John answers mildly, with an eye roll at Mary, 'you haven't heard it yet.'

'I might have.'

'Well, _obviously_ ,' says John; he and Mary share a grin. 'But there's no way of knowing that, is there, until I've at least started telling it, so button it, Sherlock. Anyway, it's funny. You might even laugh.'

This earns him a snort of derision from the couch, but Sherlock does, in fact, button it, and John proceeds, lacing his fingers with Mary's and brushing a quick kiss over them, as she sits on the floor beside his chair.

'A duck walks into a corner shop one day—'

'Why?'

'You'll find out if you just _listen_ —A duck walks into a corner shop one day, and says to the man behind the counter, "I'd like a kilo of corn, please." The man says, "Sorry mate, we don't have any," and the duck says—'

'Well of course there wouldn't be a kilo of corn at a corner shop, it's not a _supermarket_ or a _grocer_ —'

' _Sherlock_ —'

'He's been like this all day,' Mary says in a stage whisper. 'He finished the case of the twisted umbrella and he needs another one.'

'Oh really, I'd never have guessed.' John is beginning to wonder why he bothered trying to tell this joke to the two of them, but he takes a breath and goes on. 'And the duck says, "Oh, sorry,", and goes away.' He raises a warning finger at Sherlock, who has rolled around to face him and opened his mouth. 'No, just listen, all right. The next day, the duck comes back, and he goes up to the man behind the counter and says, "Hello, I'd like a kilo of corn please." The man scratches his head and says, 'Look mate, I told you yesterday, we don't have any corn." The duck says, "Oh, sorry," and goes out again. But the next day he comes back—' 

And Mary is starting to smile, he can see it in the light in her eyes and the twitch of her lips, and all of a sudden John would very much like to be kissing those lips, but he's damned if he won't finish this story now he's started it.

'And the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, until every day for a whole week this duck has come into the corner shop and asked for a kilo of corn. And each time the man behind the counter tells him that there isn't any, as politely as he can, but finally, on the last day, his temper snaps and he yells at the duck, "Look, I've told you and _told_ you, we don't sell corn, and if you come in asking for it again I'm going to nail your bloody beak to the counter!" So the duck looks rather shocked, and walks out.'

Mary is giggling now, and Sherlock has that little frown between his eyebrows that indicates computing processes are going on, but he hasn't opened his mouth again so John decides he may as well hasten on with the punchline before he gets interrupted.

'The next day, the duck walks back into the corner shop, and goes up to the counter and says to the man there, "Excuse me, but do you sell nails?" And the man says, "Well... no," so the duck says, "Then in that case I'd like a kilo of corn please!"' 

Mary collapses with laughter and even Sherlock's mouth is quirking a little at the edges, though he appears to be doing his best to maintain a straight face. 'The question is—' he begins.

John mock-groans. 'When will you ever not be a facetious sod? No questions, Sherlock. Just take it for what it is.'

Sherlock raises an eyebrow haughtily, but Mary scoots herself over to him and places a kiss on his nose, and Sherlock makes the little humming noise he always does at such gestures of affection—John wonders if he even knows he's doing it—and John smiles at the sight of the two of them, blonde hair and dark curls mingled together.


End file.
